Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Fighting the Duke of Gloucester part 2

Yes! After the stir caused by yesterday's exchange with Bryan Lunn of the Institute of Advanced Motorists, I am not just proud, but literally glowing with delight, as I bring you more on the saga that is already taking over the minds and limbs of the Extreme Unction Blog Army.

There is also amazing photographic evidence [see end of post]

After my exchange with Bryan Lunn yesterday, my close friend Tom took over, sending in a pidgin English reference on my many admirable driving qualities, and indicating that the sarcasm of Mr Lunn had turned me from a happy, smiling, individual into a broken-down snivelling jellyhead.

Dear Mr Lunn,

I have just spent the last hour comforting Mr Kennedy,one of safest drivers I have ever known. He was shock and baffled to receive you unpleasant email. You seem to treat simple request as 'some kind of joke'. His question was meant in complete sincerity owing to profound fear of 'those who should know better' operating on roads.

As such I think it only fair for me to list here Mr Kennedy's contributions towards road safety:-

* He did regularly give my mother lift to her work in ALL types of road conditions (ie, snow, ice hazard, sheeps);
* He give talk at my son school, and was asked to repeat this at another school following word of mouth;
* He drive very slowly at all times (but not so slowly as to cause obstruction);
* He has a loud-sounding music-horn, in Mexico style;
* He sweep road outside his home to remove grit and similar which often obscure word SLOW painted in the road, to just read ___W.
(how many people do this kind of thing, I ask you, and wouldn't the world be a far better place if we all did?)
* Mr Kennedy will not drink for 12 hours before driving AND afterwards, in case he is forced to make a return journey to collect something he did forget while on the first journey (as we so commonly do - have you ever considered implementing this in
your own 'guidelines' I do wonder? A forgotten hat or umberella, etc?)
* During last election campaign Mr Kennedy was personally asked to drive van containing prospective MP through the local village.
* Mr Kennedy did personally translate road safety manual for me from English to Polish (when my own language skills were less certain),so that I did not miss 'nuance' of meaning.

I hope that this does answer your question.

Kind Regards,

TOM BONCZA-TOMASZEWSKI


This brought the following delightful response from Mr Lunn:

There's an old English saying:- "If you can't take it - don't dish it
out !!"

BL

On the subject of my being an armchair driver, Tom had this to add.

Dear Mr Lunn,
In addition, as far as I am aware Mr Kennedy has no armchair in car - simply typical European leather type seat.

Regards to you,

--
TOM BONCZA-TOMASZEWSKI


Prepare Yourself! It Gets Better!

After some pain-staking internet research, I am proud to unveil photographic evidence of Mr Lunn. Here is the man who, with his razor sharp wit, has brightened up the last two days considerably. And now, here he is, ready to make you howl with laughter once more!



Bryan Lunn is on the left. His friend is on the right. Behind him is, yes, a car in the shape of an orange! Well done, Sir!

[Please note: Tom IS Polish, so the funny "English as written by a Polish person with poor English language skills" is not an attack on Polish people, just some harmless comedy]

6 Comments:

Blogger Ian said...

I happened upon your blog yesterday, and I must say that your posts on the Duke of Gloucester and the missive warfare with Mr. Lunn have been cracking me up. Thanks!

You write quite well, by the way; McSweeney's or whatever it's called missed a chance to publish you when you were still a bargain. I look forward to reading more.

12:55 AM  
Blogger bhikka said...

If only Mr Lunn was aware of his newfound fame, I wonder what the look on his face would be, would love to know!

Fab story ; )

8:12 AM  
Blogger Claypot said...

Quite possibly some of the best blogging I've read in ages. This is cracking me up. I was mulling over the rude email sent by BL in response to your original, and whilst we sit here and 'know' it is a pisstake from a young chap, how could he possibly know? What if it was in fact some little old man (albeit a bit mad, but that's not a driving offence, as far as I know). Is it not in the interests of Best Customer Service to treat everyone with politeness even if you think they are a raving loony? I would publish his response somewhere. Send it in to Consumer Rights or something at the Guardian. *still chuckling* As an aside, BL's ginger friend looks repulsively like a Dublin DJ from my youth - Simon Young (bleurgh). Don't know if he was still knocking about while you were in Dublin. He was the kind of bloke that would drive an orange though.

9:04 AM  
Blogger KarbonKountyMoos said...

You know, Jason - maybe we can start a Brian Lunn fan-mail/e-mail club or something... I'm sure that some of us can come up with some creative messages for him. The guy probably wouldn't know what hit him!

12:07 PM  
Blogger kingfelix said...

Bryan.Lunn@iam.org.uk

there's his email address. please CC me on anything anyone sends to him! and abuse him at your own risk, he's ex-metropolitan police and no doubt still has many friends on the force!

x

12:14 PM  
Blogger kingfelix said...

OOPS! BCC or forward messages, not CC, don't want him to think i am organising a concerted campaign against him, it is in fun after all

12:31 PM  

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