Thursday, February 24, 2005

Blogger wants your money part 2

After some thought, I have decided that the quality of the material on Extreme Unction needs to rise dramatically if I am to make the transition to Full-Paid blogger (see previous post). With this in mind, I am going to be following the guidelines laid down by Mr Kottke for

What Makes a Blog Worth Paying For

Therefore, for the next 3 days, I will focus on banal reactions to encounters with novel forms of transport. We shall begin with the sedan chair.

The Sedan Chair

I am a big fan of the bicycle, the hobbyhorse, and the pogo stick, but I like to sit quietly, too. One time I sat in a chair for almost four hours, and I'm not ashamed to say that I enjoyed the experience (although I am in no rush to repeat it). So, imagine my surprise when I discovered that here in Asia they have a chair you can sit in that also moves!
I was carried through the mountains, ooh, they were cold.
I was carried through the desert, ooh, it was hot.
I was carried through a small forest, ooh, it was still hot.
My journey came to an end and I climbed out and thanked the two 6 year old children who had carried me 20 miles without once complaining or asking to stop, even when one twisted an ankle. If only I had money I could have given them. But boy, was it FUN!

Can I also thank the dipstick who posted "You are a homosexual" as a comment on Universal Plus. I have used this comment as inspiration for a new entry on Universal Minus, titled "The people who create dummy Blogger accounts just to post comments intended to cause hurt..." and of course, just like every other stupid person on the planet, they should be buried alive, the Extreme Unction catch- all punishment for crimes against humanity.

18 Comments:

Blogger anan said...

sometimes... there's just not enough dirt.
(thank you, Forrest)

9:39 AM  
Blogger kingfelix said...

sounds like inspiration for a teenage heavy metal band's song "There ain't enough dirt to bury alive all the bad folks in this world..."

9:40 AM  
Blogger anan said...

precisely.
i think that at some point, we would run out of planet, and have to run out to the nearest magma store for a refill of crust.

i know! why don't we do to them what the Aztecs did to the Spanish, and tell them there's an incredible hoard of wealth out in the wilderness (of space, say)... and then we can watch them fight each other for rockets out of here!

They can drop dead out in the corridors of space, and not naughty up the planet with their dirty little selves anymore!

What do you think?

12:27 PM  
Blogger kingfelix said...

I think you are a homosexual and I'm off to bury myself alive.

Anyone not doing anything more interesting is free to join me...

I have the indignities of a medical tomorrow, so I am feeling bereft.

12:38 PM  
Blogger Ian said...

So you're getting a physical exam tomorrow? Just remember to turn your head when the doc checks you for a hernia, in order to avoid coughing on his back.

By the way, I posted some info on my blog about that respiratory illness.

2:36 PM  
Blogger kingfelix said...

coughing on his back! is this some kind of sex joke? for $225 dollars, i agree though, he should really throw in some extras.

3:02 PM  
Blogger anan said...

A homosexual???
i regret to inform you that after three husbands and four kids, i have to declare myself a complete failure as a lesbian.

Can i watch you bury yourself alive, if i promise to be good and quiet?

3:18 PM  
Blogger kingfelix said...

well, he was calling me homosexual and i'm married to a woman and am also not gay! i figured we should dissipate the negative energy by turning today into "tell someone they are homosexual for no reason" day.

pass it on!

anyone who wants to watch me be buried alive is welcome. please bring umbrellas and your own shovel.

3:21 PM  
Blogger KarbonKountyMoos said...

If we run out of dirt (and ours is some very expensive real estate, mind you) - how about we boil them in oil?

4:09 PM  
Blogger L said...

ha ha!

don't worry, I'm a homosexual man too-- only I'm trapped inside a woman's body of course.

5:32 PM  
Blogger kingfelix said...

not one comment about my sedan chair report, this accusation of being homosexual has certainly stolen the limelight. i think i'll go and add being buried alive to the Universal Minus

5:48 PM  
Blogger Claypot said...

Me, me! I wanted to comment on the sedan post. But this round the world time difference thing means I am lagging behind. Also I have to type this V E R Y S L O W L Y as I am having difficulty spelling things recently. It may be the onset of Old-Timers. Yeah, the sedan thing, very funny. I like funny, the world needs more funny. That is all.

11:55 PM  
Blogger kingfelix said...

clay
at last, someone noticed. well, let's see what anyone makes of tomorrow, when i deliver my experiences with another novel form of travel - The Recumbent Bicycle

12:23 AM  
Blogger KarbonKountyMoos said...

I like the sedan chair - but if one of the carriers gets sick - is it like having a flat tire? Can you call AAA to send a fill in? How many mpg can it get? Do they loose their book value - or can it be improved by adding a newer, fresher, younger, fitter carrier?

6:04 AM  
Blogger kingfelix said...

what i wonder is what happens if you have a sedan chair chase?

is it okay for the cops to shoot out your carriers or use a stinger on them.

all round, it doesn't sound like a great job.

i am torn between writing about my medical exam today or recumbent bicycles, choices, choices...

10:31 AM  
Blogger Ian said...

What type of sedan chairs do rappers drive? Do they deck out their carriers in a profusion of bling, or are the carriers actually gilded? And if so, does the gilding impede their carrying ability?

11:38 AM  
Blogger HF said...

Hello Blogsphere,

Jason, I was wondering whether your medical examination has to do with your application to stay in the US. They seem to want good genetic material in case you have to earn your living with heavy manual labour (sedan-chair carrier). Or are you unwell? I hope not.

1:52 PM  
Blogger kingfelix said...

i'm fine, you're right, it's for immigration purposes. it's done now, we're almost there with the petition.

3:58 PM  

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