Monday, March 21, 2005

Salmon spawn in mountain streams...

I have seen it all now. In terms of trying to turn people on to your product, the latest commercial for Dasani - the wonderful water made by Coca-Cola - features the amazing strapline - "It's crisp, refreshing, and salmon-free" - The implication being that bottled water that makes a large play of being "pure" and from "mountain streams" are neglecting to tell you that salmon spawn in that very water you drink! They've even got a guy in a bear outfit to drum home the point. Hey! Those wouldn't be the same bears that pee in mountain streams, too! Whoo, time to pour away my Evian... (You can see the ad here )

But wait! On the subject of purity, let's have a closer look at Dasani, the salmon-free wonder-water. Surely it can't be the same Dasani water that in Britain was completely recalled, all 500,000 bottles???

"Coca-Cola's new brand of "pure" bottled water, Dasani, was revealed earlier this month to be tap water taken from the mains. Then it emerged that what the firm described as its "highly sophisticated purification process", based on Nasa spacecraft technology, was in fact reverse osmosis used in many modest domestic water purification units."

And remember, while Dasani is salmon-free, it makes up for that with its abundance of toxins...

"Coca-Cola's Dasani brand of bottled water was found to have illegally high levels of bromate, a cancer-causing chemical, say company executives in the UK. Coca-Cola, which had called their water, "as pure as bottled water gets," immediately recalled 500,000 bottles. It is, of course, a public relations disaster for the company, which has been trying to develop new markets other than soft drinks "


Blogger L said...

ha ha! no way! are they really advertising it that way?

10:03 PM  
Blogger kingfelix said...

I don't need to make it up, it's pretty astonishing in its ineptness. Having your product associated with salmon spawning IN Any Way! even if it's just to refute it.

damn, it reminds me of this famous incident ->

Back in 1948, during his first race for the U.S. Senate, Lyndon Johnson was running about ten points behind, with only nine days to go. He was sunk in despair. He was desperate. And it was just before noon on a Monday, they say, when he called his equally depressed campaign manager and instructed him to call a press conference for just before lunch on a slow news day and accuse his high-riding opponent, a pig farmer, of having routine carnal knowledge of his barnyard sows, despite the pleas of his wife and children.

His campaign manager was shocked. "We can't say that, Lyndon," he supposedly said. "You know it's not true."

"Of course it's not true!" Johnson barked at him. "But let's make the bastard deny it!"

10:40 PM  

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