Thursday, April 14, 2005

Remote Control Elephant part two

Having received prompt feedback, it gives me great pleasure to reveal the upgraded Remote Control Elephant, the dream tool for those tired of their fellow man, people who ponder the merits of food riots, flash floods, and out of control forest fires over their morning milk.

Ian noted that the elephant's hide was not sufficiently resilient to protect against gunfire. This has been remedied by the addition of armour, as per his suggestion.

Moral Turpitude also brought up the idea of making the elephant more hip. The Remote Control Elephant is stomping cars and spreading panic, why can't he look butched out at the same time? MT proposed that the elephant be smoking a cigar, so I've taken this idea and run with it. In my opinion, it made sound sense to Scale Up the cigar. The finished Havana would be five feet long, have a 30 inch circumference, and weigh in at over 25 pounds.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present for your delight - Remote Control Elephant 2


Blogger anan said...

Ghengis, BABY! Is that you up there? Long time no flee!!

I like this idea but prefer my dear little Selectric 2000 Retroactive Abortion Device, complete with remote. I use it a lot when i'm watching the news.

And i wonder if flash foods could use an 'l'? I'd hate to think of milk flashing anybody.

Ok, i'm going now. No need to shove.

4:07 AM  
Blogger kingfelix said...

you're right, flash foods is a very very silly idea and a typo

10:11 AM  
Blogger anan said...

on the other hand, it could be a wonderful breakfast display feature, don't you think?

Just push a button, and several holographic flash animation figures could dance across the linen. You could just freeze frame for breakfast!

i vote for Ballistic Banana.

10:50 AM  
Blogger kingfelix said...

vote! ha ha, vote! that's a good one. there's no voting here, just imagination. as soon as someone says they've voted, someone else can imagine that they never did, another person can change their vote (uncast) for another candidate (of their choosing) and the vote count can be switched at will.

so, vote, but know that it makes no difference. oh, like life is it???

i've already written some stuff about talking food that begs to be eaten as you walk through the supermarket, and of a poor man tormented by his existential furniture. hmmmmmmm, yes. time for sunshine

11:11 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Yes, it doesn't sound like some sun would do you good. But I like the elephant and his armour. Sell the idea to Hasbro, I am sure there are little boys out there that would be all about this. I know of at least one!

2:47 PM  
Blogger katehopeeden said...

nice site, I'll def. be back :)

3:31 PM  
Blogger Ian said...

Being that I'll have an MD in 26 days, I feel it is incumbent upon me to urge you not to subject the poor elephant to cigar smoke. Otherwise, I think version 2.0 is perfect, and ready to have its fury unleashed upon our municipalities.

4:09 PM  
Blogger kingfelix said...

Ian, relax, the remote control elephant takes a low tar brand, and only smokes during rampages.

4:16 PM  
Blogger Moral Turpitude said...

That elephant is perfect. It will strike fear in the people's hearts yet appeal to the younger, hipper crowd as well. Ian, stop being such a wet rag. No one is scared of an elephant rampaging with Nicorette gum.

7:50 AM  
Blogger Jim said...

Does the elephant talk?

12:32 AM  
Blogger kingfelix said...

i imagine some speakers fitted to the elephant that the Remote Controller could issue statments through. it would have handy filters with the option of Robot Voice/Human Voice/Elephant Voice - as required.

"I am the lumbering Death Elephant! Watch me stomp your homes!"


2:12 PM  

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