Monday, May 30, 2005

David Foster DooDah #2

I sent my David Foster Wallace novel back to Penguin Books with this note. I would encourage anyone else who buys a duff book to do the same. Perhaps write CRAP in big letters across a random page to discourage reselling.

Dear Penguin Books

Please find enclosed my copy of David Foster Wallace's The Broom of the System. This novel is so poor that I have opted to simply return it to the publishing house who were foolish enough to permit its release.

In all my reading life, I have never come across a writer so intent on parading his limited resources of intelligence so relentlessly. The novel is like being stuck in an elevator for a month with a precocious five year old.

Would you please refund the $15.00 US dollars I wasted on this travesty. Would you also place me on any David Foster Wallace mailing or email list, so that I may receive adequate warning of any future offences he plans to commit against the English language.

Yours sincerely,

Jason Kennedy

7 Comments:

Blogger L said...

too funny! I wish I had thought of that with some of the things that I've read....

9:55 PM  
Blogger Claypot said...

Hoorah! Do let us know what reply you get.

10:32 AM  
Blogger Jim said...

You have made my day Jason.

I once tried to read "Infinite Jest" but put it down, feeling an odd mixture of being woefully inadequate to grasp him, and horribly bored.

5:33 PM  
Blogger Claypot said...

Have you read the book Letters from a Nut by Ted L Nancy? If you like writing to companies you might enjoy this.

3:42 AM  
Blogger kingfelix said...

some of those letters were quoted to me from Letters from a Nut, but i was writing (and publishing) spoof letters to companies back in 1996, so i've had a sore time.

for example, someone sent a private message saying that i had grabbed The Duke of Gloucester idea from L from a N, as if L from a N was the first time this had ever been done.

10:28 AM  
Blogger Jim said...

"Letters from a Nut" is pretty funny, but is highly derivative of the original "The Lazlo Letters," by Don Novello (aka Father Guido Sarducci).

The Lazlo Letters is some of the funniest stuff I've ever read.

4:19 PM  
Blogger kingfelix said...

i suppose it goes back to whether i LIKE writing to companies! i don't. but i do believe that you should waste people's time as an act of defiance if they waste yours, as time is essentially all we have.

Herzog in Saul Bellow's novel also drafts some funny letters to businesses, i'm sure one was about the erratic behavior of a monkey in a zoo, addressed to the headkeeper! correct me if i'm wrong

(i am not recommending saul bellow, read him at your own risk)

5:24 PM  

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