Thursday, July 07, 2005

America - It's not about YOU

American media narcissism in overdrive, this is what a news anchor on CNN said a moment ago,

"... and now more news on that breaking bomb story out of London. In Los Angeles..."

Los Angeles, that well-known part of Central London.
I don't remember the BBC on 9/11 saying,

"... and now more news on those terror attacks in New York. In Liverpool..."


Although it would be an idea for Blair AND Bush to go and survey the latest success in their War Against Terror together.

I understand that Bush was so shaken that he had to report to the nearest branch of the Early Learning Center and replenish his stock of children's books. Bush munched on a candy bar as he was led around the store, and on leaving was said to be thrilled at getting his mitts on Muddle Farm and Room on the Broom (quote, "Yee hee, it's all about witches and black magic, Rummy will love this...")

Also, please note, Bush injured his hands last night. Did a bomb go off by mistake while he was getting them ready? Was he like the Irishman in Joyce's A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, who loses a few fingers while preparing "a birthday present for Queen Victoria"?


-> Nightclub owner Peter Stringfellow issued a statement in the wake of the bomb attacks on London, confirming that he had sadly not been killed. "I know this will traumatise sections of the British public, but the simple truth is I'm okay and feel fine, I've just eaten two boxes of Viagra and am laying in bed with identical twins. Sorry, everyone..."
-> An unemployed acrobat claims to have been carried right across London by the strength of today's bomb blasts. Adam Patten claimed that having been thrown through the window of a tube train, the blast carried him up the stairs. He there met the updraft from the second explosion and was hurled three miles, narrowly clearing Marble Arch. Just as he was about to hit the ground, another explosion propelled him in a southerly direction. He landed in the wreckage of a London bus just seconds after it had exploded. His account has yet to be independently corroborated.
-> The head of London Transport has confirmed that despite shutting down much of London's public transport in the wake of terrorist attacks, that actual wait times would not increase significantly. He highlighted the fact that three Kenyan hotel porters are still waiting for a relief bus that was dispatched three days ago. "I am aware that the attacks are shocking, but people must be assured, it will not impact upon our general level of total incompetence in providing timely transport." He then climbed back into his limousine and zoomed off.


Blogger banana said...

you left out how the American acrobats took it in Los Angeles!!

11:34 AM  
Blogger BrooklynVoice said...

I think the whole thing is best summed up in the contrast between the countries' leaders' respective comments....

Ach, but what a mess.

9:08 PM  
Blogger Luke said...

Regarding Bush's hand injury.
He went for a cycle ride whilst at Gleneagles. For fitness, fresh air, get away from the other Dogs (and poodles) of War, who knows.
Anyway, so intent was he on visually seeing his mind's view of the world, he failed to see a british bobby standing there to guard him from stray dogs.
Guess what ? He crashed into static Bobby/Cop and fell off his bike, grazing his hands in the process.
Luke in London, UK.

10:56 AM  

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