Tuesday, October 18, 2005

New Public Holidays for Britain

Been thinking this over as the calendar reflects little of recent history. A Day for Diana would've been nice, perhaps Tabloid Journalists and Papparazzi could be ordered to stay indoors, it would be excellent to have a whole day without Murdoch's Muck soiling the public mind.

I also think, generally, a Liars Day, in honour of the great liars and hypocrites that Political Life throws up in Britain. Children could come to school dressed as their favourite liar.

"One twelve year old boy on Humberside even went so far as to blind himself after fathering a child with another man's wife, all in honour of his favourite liar and hypocrite, David Blunkett..."

Also, July 9th, Royal Bedroom Invasion Day - prizes to be awarded to anyone who invades a Royal Palace and confronts a member of the Monarchy.

"This year's winner, for jumping out of a towel closet while Prince Philip was taking a dump at Windsor Castle, is Gretchen Greenwood of Andover, in the fine county of Hampshire. Second place, for trapping Prince Edward in a cargo net on Hampstead Heath goes to Mr Kevin Daniels, of the Ribble Valley..."

And, lastly, in honour of Michael Fagan, who had the will, but not the intent, here is Morrissey:

So, I broke into the palace
With a sponge and a rusty spanner
She said : "Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing"
I said : "That's nothing - you should hear me play piano"


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