Tuesday, November 01, 2005

More torture

Bookstore, shelves, damp cloth, me. My instructions were simple, "Wipey Wipey, Mr."
To make things worse, the in-store radio was tuned to 104 The River and their supremely dire Soft Rock segment.
Life is bad enough, without Clay Aiken singing "Invisible," I felt like pushing over all the bookshelves, pulling down my pants, and dropping dookie on the floor.
That's how bad life can be.
I refrained, wanting to protect both my dignity and my employment prospects.
But the thought was there, just like all those other thoughts in the day that we cannot act upon. Let no-one doubt that the Englishman is a dangerous beast, as I explained yesterday, the English do not go about WITHOUT GUNS because they are placid, the exact opposite is the case, if guns were given to the average Englishman, carnage would result, particularly at rush hour. There is nothing like a Stupid Driver to inspire an incredible urge to Kill, to Maim, to drag the offender from their vehicle and administer an Industrial Kicking so fierce that family and friends are unable to recognise the pile of undifferentiated tissue left over at the end.
"I think it's him, it's either him or a jellyfish..."
The flipside is that SHOOTING GUNS at traffic lights might encourage something to be done about the congestion on British roads. Even if nothing was done by government, killing other drivers would, in the long term, if applied with sufficient vigour, naturally reduce the number of people on the roads (despite appearances to the contrary on Devonshire country roads, the Dead are currently not permitted to drive on British roads), and also Stupid Drivers would limit their journeys to off-peak times (perhaps).

Anyway, I got a little away from the subject of cleaning bookshelves. It was the Neverending Bookshelves, like some Greek Punishment. They had another guy cleaning the Neverending Windows. It was hell today, here's to tomorrow and a day off!

Oh, Prince Charles and his mount, Camilla, are here in the U.S. deary me, they actually had a Palace quote saying that "Charles and Camilla are the most popular couple in Britain", which probably equates to "more people recognised them than Posh and Becks, or, they came second, but Posh and Becks don't live in Britain, therefore..."

They make me sick, Mr and Mrs Ed

Bye all


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